They were armed — just not with any common sense.

Cops busted a 40-year-old man following a bizarre Upper West Side street brawl caught on video early Wednesday where the weapons of choice included a machete, a metal garbage can and anything else they could get their hands on, police said.

But gladiators, they’re not. The combatants stumble about and repeatedly miss each other in the two-minute fight, the video shows.

The two men faced off near a silver luxury car parked on Broadway near W. 94th St. about 6:50 a.m.

One of the men, identified by police as Bronx resident Lewis Roman, wields a machete. The other, a 35-year-old man, also from the Bronx, holds a metal city trash can, the video shows.

The fight began after an exchange between the two men, when Roman showed his opponent a magazine clip to a pistol, police sources said.

“I have a gun,” Roman told his opponent.

The argument turned into a full-blown clash when the younger man threw a garbage can at the car, witnesses said.

“The car was about to go on Broadway when the guy in the red shirt picked up the garbage can and threw it,” said Paul Tena, who recorded the exchange on his cellphone as he left the gym. “That’s when the other guy stopped the car and pulled out the machete.

The two men were caught on video trying to duke things out with various weapons, including a trash can and a machete.

(@paultena via Twitter)

“I kind of walked into this,” Tena said. “My thing is, who has a machete in their trunk? On top of that, they’re pretty bad fighters.”

Roman, now armed with a machete, stands toe-to-toe with the younger man, who is holding a second garbage can.

They threaten each other with their weapons while a woman in a polka-dot dress — who is believed to be with Roman — is yelling at both of them, threatening to call 911.

As the woman gets back into the car, the man with the garbage can tries to open her door.

Outraged, Roman takes a swing at his opponent, striking the man’s cellphone, causing it to crack.

The blade flies out of Roman’s hands and clatters on the street without striking its target, the video shows.

“Then it breaks,” Tena said about the machete. “If your machete is going to break, that’s a bad sign.”

Roman’s opponent throws a garbage can at him, striking him in the head, but he is not hurt, police said.

The fight took place on Broadway near W. 94th St. about 6:50 a.m.

(@paultena via Twitter)

The two begin trading blows and throwing things at each other until Roman and the woman get back into his car, the video shows.

“When they started throwing beverages at each other, you knew it was over,” Tena said.

Police confirmed that they were called to the corner, but the fight was already over.

Cops pulled Roman over and took him into custody, charging him with assault, criminal mischief, menacing and criminal possession of a weapon.

Police recovered the machete, but could not find the pistol Roman claimed to have, police sources said.

Medics rushed the younger man to St. Luke’s Hospital with a non-critical injury, police said.

Roman’s arraignment was pending Wednesday.